My Teacher, Li Cheng

I left my job at Christian Outreach to the Handicapped in August 2011. I had worked for slightly over three years in a Christian charity organisation for people with intellectual disabilities.

Now now, I know what you're thinking, "Is it THAT kind of charity?"

I've been asked this many times before. After NKF, after Ren Ci, and now, after the City Harvest debacle.

So I guess you can say, I'm hurt.

I'm hurt because much of what they say is true.

I'm hurt because much of what they say is not.

It should come as no surprise, such opinions and viewpoints towards religion, charities and money have always existed. And yet, the ferocity of it always leaves me voiceless.

But no, it is not THAT kind of charity. We are the kind that has an annual expenditure of just over $1 million. And we struggle to raise funds to meet that expenditure. And when we do, we wipe the sweat off our brow and breathe thanks to God.

But I digress.

She calls me her teacher.

Today, one of the clients attending the day activity sent me a friend request on Facebook. Right after I accepted her request, I saw a post on her wall.

It said "My Teacher Daryl Goh".

You know, in life, there are moments so overwhelming and warm that you just have to stop what you're doing, centre yourself and say, "this is so precious."

Like watching dance. Like listening to music. The stuff that stirs your soul. This was one of those moments.

I would like to clarify. My job at Christian Outreach to the Handicapped was more like an events and volunteer coordinator. I was not her teacher. I would see her at the Toa Payoh Centre whenever there were volunteer events. Most of the time, I was based at the administrative office in Tampines.

Li Cheng, 35, has been with COH since 1990. She is diagnosed with cerebral palsy. Cerebral palsy messes with the body's nervous system, mixing up the signals for clenched and relaxed, making it hard to control her movements.

She is largely wheelchair bound, but I've learnt that she is strong enough to take steps on her own during her physiotherapy sessions. Her condition makes it difficult for her to speak, but I've learnt that she is able to communicate using a board with everyday words printed on it.

When COH was shooting their corporate film, I learnt that she is a bit of an actress and able to portray different emotions on cue.

When she communicates with new volunteers who find it hard to understand her, I learnt that she has tons of patience in pointing out the words on her board repeatedly until someone gets it. And then she's all smiles.

I've learnt that she has a wicked sense of humour, laughing whenever she overhears a funny story, or when she sees someone being clumsy.

On days when she looks visibly sad, I learnt that it doesn't change the way she treats others, beaming a smile whenever she is greeted.

I've learnt that her disability doesn't affect her generosity; she shares the treats she has.

I've learnt that a smile works in every situation.

I've learnt so much from the way she approaches life; her gratitude, her attitude, and her beautiful spirit.

So actually, Li Cheng is my teacher. And even now, using Facebook, she is teaching me that sometimes, we just have to focus on the moments.

Three Years And A Third

At the end of August, I will be leaving Christian Outreach To The Handicapped to pursue my degree in Mass Communication at the Institute of Higher Learning which is established by the Singapore Manufacturers' Federation (SMa). The degree will be accredited by Murdoch University.

Although I am eager to begin a new season in my life, I cannot help but look back and appreciate all that God has taught me through the beneficiaries, my colleagues and the volunteers; both the good lessons and the bad. Working at COH has given me so many opportunities to learn and develop new skills. It has been a great pleasure being part of an organisation that puts so much effort into serving and loving our beneficiaries.

I have learnt so much from the beneficiaries. Spending time with them has taught me that their disabilities are simply extensions of my own shortcomings and limitations. They have taught me how to behave a little more selflessly and even when I sometimes don't, they are still are happy to see me. They have given me a glimpse of God; His character and His nature.

I am often quick to forget. My colleagues have been such a blessing to me, constantly giving me much needed reminders and appreciation. They always inspire me with their commitment; spending all their creative, emotional and physical energy just to improve a few hours in the life of the beneficiaries. And when the beneficiaries have left, the exhausted expressions of my colleagues surprise me. Not because of how drained they are, but because I know that the next day, I will see them refreshed and smiling as if they've never tasted tiredness.

I am glad for these three years and a third. COH and the stories of her beneficiaries are now a part of me. I am glad because I know that I have learnt lessons that cannot be taught from a lecture slide in any classroom. Because I know that COH will continue to grow and develop, even as I do.

Livin' On A Prayer

She is one of the sweetest girls I have ever met. I would see her when I went to have lunch in the multi-purpose hall. She would see me and look down with her smile on her face. As if shy to show me how glad she was to see me. Her smile is unaffected by the cerebral palsy that ravages her body and hinders her movements. It is a smile that burrows past any walls, as if challenging me with her gentleness. I always stopped to say hello and have a conversation and she was always glad to oblige. Tonight I saw her in hospital and she looked down smiling again. But she struggled to remember my name. I'm glad she didn't forget. She was fighting. Against thoughts of death, against bad memories, against frustration, against fear.

Think about Jesus. Jesus is in you. Jesus loves you!

She would repeat those precious words when I spoke them over her. She adored that name. I was fighting too, almost defeated by tears. There was righteousness to be done and we drenched her with love and encouragement. Her sister asked me whether it was a spiritual, or satanic attack. I quickly answered no and assured her that she was a daughter of God who could not be taken over by the devil. But I do believe that the devil, filthy parasite that he is, would always want more of a person. The issue isn't whether God lets it happen or not. The issue is whether we are defending each other with the Word of God.

She sang bravely. Songs of hope, songs of promise. She sang to Jesus and I believe He took notice. Her eyes held recognition more regularly. She remembered family members when they came to visit and she called them on the mobile phone when they didn't. It struck me how often she was apologising to the people around her. It reminded me of Jesus healing the man with palsy in the Bible. The first thing He said when He saw the man was, "Son, your sins are forgiven."

It makes me wonder if the mind and its conscience, the body and its health are somehow all interconnected. Maybe Jesus understood that forgiveness was synonymous with healing. After all, we don't see Jesus examining that man for signs of depression or the state of his mental health. He probably knew that it was all linked. We all want to be forgiven and we all have a Forgiver.

Daughter, your sins are forgiven. Get up and go home!